The various story arcs are usually pretty ridiculous. Why that was so funny to me, I couldn't tell ya, but I did make a note in my Kindle: "Why didn't she just go with Clit Dickwater?" For instance, the first named opponent of Ragey is a guy by the name of Kirk Dirkwood. Other parts are funny merely because someone not only thought them, but thought they were good enough to put on paper.
Some of it is funny because the bad grammar makes it weird.
Thankfully, there was enough unintentional funny to keep me from completely losing (the rest of) my mind. Between that and the term "my sex", I was suffering some serious "bad erotica" flashbacks. There are enough metaphors to sink a yacht, and the staccato nearly reached Fifty Shades levels. The book itself has its own killer instincts. His turn ons are pert butts, "honeyed whiskey eyes", and women with vaginal fluid imbalances. His hobbies include fighting, yelling, raging, table flipping, lamp smashing, marking his territory with his urine, and sniffing every woman of mating age in his general vicinity. Senses are dulled and inhibitions are destroyed. His most valuable talent in the ring is his ability to throw out Super Pheromone, which makes every straight female and gay male in a five mile radius stupid with lust. Left to fend for himself in the "loony bin" at the tender age of 13, Ragey has learned how to fight, fight, fight his way to the top (of the orgy pile!). Ragey's actual size is never stated, but if my impressions are accurate, he's roughly the size of a small barn. Remington "RageTurd" Tate is just your typical, musclebound gorilla. Seriously, get that woman some Depends before she kills someone. Her special skills include an almost unrealistic ability to contort her body (she can turn her head around and kiss a guy on the mouth while in the doggystyle position), and an overabundance of vaginal fluid which she directs at unsuspecting opponents.
Turn ons are tacky tattoos, muscles, sweat, and mood swings.
Her hobbies are babbling incessantly about inane bullshit, stretching, and making stupid decisions. Now she's wound tight and ready for action. Having been denied her dream of Olympic gold thanks to an injury, Brooke's had years to save up all her bitter rage and coil it into a tight ball of hate that she's stuffed in "her core". Weighing in at an arguably lithe 120lbs., Brooke's fighting style relies more on flexibility and trickery than sheer brute force. I've had so much fun thinking up names and special fighting techniques for Brooke and Remington.īrooke "The Washout" Dumas. Oh, how I wish this book were an underground boxing match.
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